"Fool," said my Muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write."

Ok, technically Sidney was writing a letter to his love, not a blog posting, but the concept is rather the same. I have the hardest time sometimes sitting down and writing about something. Some would say that I have to wait for "inspiration" to strike, but frankly, my "inspirations" come when i'm not able to put them down on page. So the only alternative is to hunt for them. And, taking Sir Sidney's advice, I look into my heart to find the words. The problem is, there's a LOT in there. Most of which I'm not about to put online for the world to see. However, I did finally find something that is worth taking the time to write about. So here you are, another late-night musing:

One of my biggest challenges is expectation. In particular, my expectations of God. It's a rather classic scenario: it's easy to trust when things are going right, but when they get tough... so does the trust. Here's how it usually goes: I have a problem, so naturally I ask God to guide me through the problem. At first, things go as I would like them to, so I have no problem trusting that it'll all work out. Then I hit a speedbump, usually a big one, that knocks me away from my expected outcome. At that point, I find myself wondering why God would let me get my hopes up, only to see them burn before my eyes. I'm sure this is a situation that most people encounter at some point in their lives, and right now it's my turn.

I have come to the conclusion that the problem is that I'm transferring my expectations onto what is planned for me. In my mind, the outcome I want seems to be perfect, so why not let it be so? I have seen, however, that in hindsight the outcome I wasn't expecting is better for me. Clearly, this is why I'm not in charge. The reason I struggle, despite that knowledge, is because I want results ASAP. I admit, I'm fairly impatient, and like things to happen when I want them to. So when things don't happen as quickly as I THINK they should... you guessed it, I get impatient.

I suppose the point of all this is to solidify for myself, in words, the realizations I have come to:

1.) God always knows what is best for you, and he will make sure that you reach what you need, so long as you trust him to do so.

2.) God doesn't work on your schedule. He makes things happen at their appointed time, and it's your job to faithfully wait for that moment.

3.) God's sole purpose is not to make you happy. He's there to make sure that you reach the destination that is best for you, not necessarily the one you think is right.

So, in short, I'm learning to give over control, and not to let my expectations cloud the final goal.

This concludes my theological musings for the night.

Now, on to other... stuffs. Shenanigans. Goings-on. Whatever word you wish to use.

FIRST OFF: A PSA FROM ME.

Ok, I've got a rather powerful resistance to stimulants. I'm the kind of guy who downs two Monsters and goes straight to bed. But tonight, I got a Mountain Dew at OnCue, and put energy shot in it...

I. Am. Shaking. I have come to the conclusion that that was NOT a good decision. So a word of warning: Do not take the most caffeinated drink they have, and add additional stimulant to it. It's bad for you. 

I can't believe it's already past 3... it feels like it's a lot earlier... I blame the Energy/Death Cocktail.

Well... that's all I've got, folks. Thank goodness it's the weekend. To all who took the time to read this (and those who didn't too), may the Lord bless you this week, and may you follow Him faithfully.

Grace and Peace be yours in abundance, 

The Wayfaring Stranger