It's early in the evening yet, and I haven't had the Energy Drink of Death tonight, so I'm a bit more lucid than usual when I sit down to write. As it is, I'm a bit sobered tonight, as the weight of many things comes to bear on me (if this sounds depressing, read on, not all is lost)
See, my general feeling is that life has not gone quite as I had intended it to go. I'm coming up on the end of my first semester of college, and where do I find myself? I'm worn thin. The physical is tired of the constant abuses my self-imposed schedules have placed upon it. The mental is strained from the new standards that have been placed upon it to perform for education's sake. The emotional is shattered from taking, giving, and witnessing so much heartache, heartbreak, and unfulfillment. Even the spiritual is frayed, wondering aloud, "What was it all for?"
As it stands, I'm at a crossroads. I face important decisions that will impact the rest of my life. I face a change in majors... and possibly a change of schools. I face the daunting task of deciphering where my heart is leading me in regards to friendships and relationships, between what is fulfilling and what is a facade. It really feels like life has come down to four walls, and they're closing in around me.
This marks an end to depression. Now comes Hope.
I've always believed the old cliche that "everything happens for a reason." It's only cliche because it's completely true. When I look back on my life, I am amazed that I'm not much worse off than I am, to say nothing of even being alive. There have been so many times where things could have- SHOULD have- been the end of me, but here I am. The only logical conclusion for this is not luck, no one gets that lucky. No, the only reason that makes sense is that I have been led thusfar, guided and guarded by One who knows the road far better than I (and thank goodness for it, too). I admit, sometimes it's hard to remember that: life has a way of clouding things, making you forget the truth you know. Yet even the mightiest storm must end sometime, and when it clears there is a bright, new day ahead. The only thing you need to decide... Who's going to pilot your ship through the storm?
And now, for something completely different:
IT IS FREEZING HERE!!!!
Ok, admittedly I used to live in Iowa... but that was a looooooooooooooooooooong time ago. Also, I am not my father. Nanook of the North over there walks around in this weather in shorts. Not me. I like to be comfortable. This weather, while a nice break from the sweltering summer, is a bit more than the Texas winters I'm used to. What have I gotten myself into???
AND YAY!!!! A FOLLOWER!!!!
Granted, he's my roommate, and sits on the other side of the room from me while I write my posts, but...
IT'S A START >:( let me have my celebrations.
Two more weeks and I'm done with school... I don't know how to feel about that, honestly. College is so weird....
Anyway, hope everyone has a great start to their week.
Grace and Peace be yours in abundance,
The Wayfaring Stranger
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